OkcPets Magazine July 2021

July/August 2021 • OKC Pets 9 flee; if cornered, usually you’ll get a short charge that ends with stomping. Only if the little guy has no choice will he turn with head and bottom facing you, then accurately spray a yellow stream of nastiness. But remember: the last thing a healthy skunk wants to do is spray; it depletes their systems and leaves them defenseless for several days. To encourage farewells, spread heavily-used kitty litter around the den opening; since carnivores eat skunks, the smell of predator urine usually works. But let’s say, instead, you fall madly in love. You want a striped buddy as family, but you know the rules. Wildlife is not for tam- ing, dangerous for all, illegal, etc. So you’re considering a “pet” skunk, and it’s legal in Oklahoma. In general, skunks do not make good pets; however, a better axiom to apply here is: “Good pet owners make good pets.” If you simply must answer this call, consider: 1. Did you check with your vet? Many clinics do not allow a skunk to cross their thresholds. 2. Do you have plenty of bonding time? Bored skunks shred everything, and they hate being kenneled. If you value rugs, bedspreads and cushions, say goodbye to such if your pet skunk has nothing better to do. And while it may be charming to discover grandma’s quilt decorating your pet’s den, it may not be so funny to find its remnants. 3. What about exercise? These diggers need satisfaction, but if they get loose, they’re goners. Skunks have poor vision and no hom- ing instincts. They’ll rapidly wander several miles—without natural defenses. Plan for year-round outside hours with your gardener for a possible 10-year lifespan. 4. Skunk Chow? Uh-oh. They do not digest processed food easily; everything needs to be freshly prepared. Wanna be a spe- cial-needs gourmet chef? 5. Good news-bad news: skunks ca n be litter box trained (that’s the good news). But who empties it? (That’s the bad news.) OK, you’re forewarned—and still pining. Time for a road trip. Every September, North Ridgeville, Ohio, hosts Skunkfest (I kid you not). One doesn’t need a personal skunk to attend, and it’s free. At the “world’s largest skunk convention,” a wannabe owner signs a waiver and promises not to touch any of the pet skunks riding around on their owners’ shoulders. Babies will be for sale by reputable breeders, de-scented and ready for a forever home. There will be contests for King, Queen, Prince and Princess skunks, and many of the contenders will be properly costumed for their future roles as royalty. Primo Skunk Fun. One last point about wild skunks I’d like to address is spraying. Years ago, the PBS producers of “Is That Skunk?” claim to have aired the most disgusting scene in history: a slow-motion close-up of a stream ejected from the two nipple-like structures on each side of a skunk’s anus (aka anal glands). My curiosity was piqued: how on earth did they film that? Being sprayed is miserable and clearly happened here. Tomato juice doesn’t work; the best way to get rid of the smell is to shower, then lather up a mix of one quart 3% hydrogen perox- ide, 1/4 cup baking soda and 1 teaspoon Dawn detergent. Water rinses off some thiols, or sulfur compounds making the smell, but it also activates and enhances others—so the stink resurfaces. This mix neutralizes the boomerang and helps restore a norm. But back to how they filmed a skunk poot: The crew drafted a brilliant skunk researcher to help: Jerry Dragoo, assistant professor at UNM. After building a platform and supplying a wild-enough skunk, Jerry was willing to let the camera crew stay inside his home and shoot through the window glass as he goaded the skunk into spraying in their direction. He did this by (excuse me, I’m snickering here) “blowing on the skunk’s bottom.” Apparently, this particular intimacy infuriates a skunk. Jerry’s glasses and face were anointed multiple times for the shot until they got it right. Talk about commitment. Actually, though, someone like Jerry is perfect for this job. His passion for and understanding of this beautiful animal has no bounds (an obvious understatement), but he also has another secret weapon: he’s part Great Horned Owl. Jerry has anosmia. He doesn’t smell the smell, which is why I know his wife, Gwen, is a saint. They are home to multiple skunks in various stages of rehabilitation, leading the cause to respect and study this animal for many years. For me, I intend to give them plenty of respect, especially after reading the advice of a California pest control officer if one is sprayed: “Get rid of your clothes and drive your truck home na- ked.” I imagine that wouldn’t hold too well should one be stopped on the way home, but, then again, maybe opening the car window and sharing your new perfume with the officer could justify excessive speed. After all, it’s not just a black and white issue. A baby skunk begins to open her eyes.